Saturday, May 11, 2013

The Last Voyage

It was almost time. The air was as fresh as a newly wedded bride. The front sky looked calm with light orange colour on its lower portion and white on its upper. The Sun was playing hide and seek and the clouds were assisting it to achieve its purpose. It was a beautiful sight. I believe I deserved that much.

I looked to the river flowing deep down and quickly drew away my eyes. The more I looked down the more my mind took control of my body. But I knew it was needed to be done. The valley was around 200 meters deep but it looked much more than that. The river was full of big and small boulders but it was hard to estimate the depth. I could not hear the water flowing but it appeared violent and savage.

My mind was forcing me not to do it but I was too close to back out. I knew it had to be done, it was the only option and the right thing to do. ' Keep calm and focused, It will all be over soon ', I told myself. It was a firmly made decision and backing out was not an option. I should have talked with my family but it was too late now to do it.

The wind was not fast but cold enough to make my whole body shiver. It felt like a hundred ice arrows piercing my body together. It was the cold or the fear that was dominating me I could not distinguish. Far away an eagle was circling round and round most probably closing on its prey.  I was not able to see the poor animal but could feel its fear. In an instant the deep valley looked like a huge eagle racing towards me to swallow me. ' Huh ', I thought ' The valley cannot move, It has to be me to do it ' . The air was clean and fresh still my lungs were denying it easy entry. It feels odd when each part of your body sings a different song. They were not in my control I knew that much.  My mind was shouting,  'You don't want to do it, please don't do it my friend '. 

I could feel the weight on my legs as never before. It was impossible to lift them. It looked as if the gravitation pull has increased ten folds. In my childhood I have dreamed to have wings, to fly like a bird, to fly and be one with the sky. But now my legs were resisting as if they were not my part. They have clung to the ground as a child clings to his mother's breast. But I knew it had to be done. I have to overcome the fear, and be in control of my mind and body.

The day was late but there was enough light to see down to the river. My mind was running fast trying to control me and simultaneously placing different memories and thoughts before me. ' It will not be easy ', I told myself but I knew what was needed to be done to do it. I let go of all these thoughts, let go of all the people I have loved, let go of all the moments I have ever cherished, let go of all the things I have liked, let go of all the memories I hold close to my heart. Then brought forward the pain, the grief I have ever felt, and became one with despair. This gave way to the life energy settled deep down in me, and it rose. I could feel it. This life energy from the darkest part of my heart was exactly what I needed to do it.

Now it was time. I could not hear my mind no more, I was completely blank, no thoughts, no memories. I felt nothing now, no sound, no cold. Even the eagle was gone. And then I jumped. 

The Last Resort in Nepal is in top 10 list of best places for bungee jumping in the world. It is 160 meters long with a 100 meters of free fall. It was hell of an adventure and everyone should try it at least once. Most part in the last paragraphs are bullshit. Well I like to shit, actually everybody enjoys shitting whatever time of the day it may be. There is nothing like life energy and no one can let go what I wrote that easily, it's not in our hands. Actually there is not much time to think about anything at the time of jump, it's just 1,2,3 jump. Either you jump or you don't. If you jump then you will understand what true fear is in the first 2-3 seconds. The last part was also interesting when the bungee was over and I was hanging upside down around 40 meters above the river.

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